Jay Leno
“The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be…
Elizabeth Taylor
“Big girls need big diamonds.”
Ted Turner
“Sports is like a war without the killing.”
Jimmy Buffett
“Indecision may or may not be my problem.”
Groucho Marx
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
Mort Sahl
“My life needs editing.”
W. C. Fields
“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank…
Top Ten Trump Trophy Memes
The meme trail really picked up around Trump’s repeated references to the Nobel Peace Prize…
Ogden Nash
“Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.”
George Burns
“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.”
H. L. Mencken
“The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”
John F. Kennedy
“The pay is good and I can walk to work.”
Truman Capote
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
Mary Pickford
“Adding sound to movies would be like putting lipstick on the Venus de Milo.”
Clarence Darrow
“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning…
The Cat Came Back… With a Plot Twist
Losing a pet is awful. Your house feels quieter, the food bowl stays full, and…
Gilbert K. Chesterton
“The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.”
Josh Billings
“There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.”
Mae West
“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”
Abraham Lincoln
“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”
Warren Buffett
“I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.”
Bill Vaughan
“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age…
Charles M. Schulz
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in…
Samuel Pepys
“Strange to see how a good dinner and feasting reconciles everybody.”
Frances Wright
“Pets, like their owners, tend to expand a little over the Christmas period.”
Ellen DeGeneres
“Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.”
Erma Bombeck
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
Phyllis McGinley
“Please to put a nickel, please to put a dime. How petitions trickle in at…
Jerome K. Jerome
“What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise.”
Victor Borge
“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.”