Jokes

“I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.”

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”

“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”

“When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.”

“A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.”

“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.”

“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”

“My favorite animal is steak.”

“All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.”

“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'”

“Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.”

“How can I know what I think till I see what I say?”

“The future will be better tomorrow.”

“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.”