Erma Bombeck
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
Oscar Levant
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.”
Robert Anthony
“Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle.”
Clarence Darrow
“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning…
The Mystery Boom That Turned Out to Be a Space Rock
Residents across New England recently experienced a classic modern-day phenomenon: hearing a massive boom, checking…
Ernest Hemingway
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep…
Calvin Coolidge
“I have never been hurt by what I have not said.”
Lana Turner
“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A…
Phil McGraw
“A year from now, you’re gonna weigh more or less than what you do right…
Bob Dole
“The internet is a great way to get on the net.”
Jerome K. Jerome
“What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise.”
Wernher von Braun
“Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Why Dad Jokes Are Still Winning the Internet
Dad jokes are simple, predictable, and proudly ridiculous, which is exactly why people keep sharing…
Gilda Radner
“I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.”
Herbert Hoover
“All men are equal before fish.”
Joseph Addison
“Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.”
Victor Borge
“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.”
J. Paul Getty
“The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights.”
Ted Turner
“Sports is like a war without the killing.”
Eddie Izzard
“Never put a sock in a toaster.”
Clint Eastwood
“If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.”
Jay Leno
“The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be…
Alfred Adler
“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”
The Most Played Song of the 1990s on Radio Might Surprise You
A 90s hit that defined radio airplay When people think of 1990s music, they often…
Emma Goldman
“If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.”
Franklin P. Jones
“One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening.”
Mort Sahl
“My life needs editing.”
Jimmy Buffett
“Indecision may or may not be my problem.”
James A. Garfield
“The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.”
Niels Bohr
“Prediction is very difficult, especially if it’s about the future.”