Brendan Behan
“If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.”
Spike Milligan
“I can speak Esperanto like a native.”
Dave Barry
“Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.”
Edgar Fiedler
“Ask five economists and you’ll get five different answers – six if one went to…
Charles de Gaulle
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is…
George Carlin
“There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.”
Henry Kissinger
“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.”
Daniel J. Boorstin
“I write to discover what I think. After all, the bars aren’t open that early.”
Ray Bradbury
“I don’t try to describe the future. I try to prevent it.”
E. B. White
“Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one.”
Don Marquis
“The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.”
Kin Hubbard
“The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put…
Steve Martin
“I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.”
Christopher Morley
“A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.”
Baby Holds Mom’s IUD at Birth and the Internet Can’t Stop Laughing
A tiny baby in Brazil has managed to outsmart birth control and the internet loves…
Dan Quayle
“It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system.”
Marcel Marceau
“Never get a mime talking. He won’t stop.”
Laurence J. Peter
“If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.”
Phyllis Diller
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want…
Ogden Nash
“Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.”
George Jean Nathan
“An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to…
Josh Billings
“Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he…
Robert Kennedy
“One-fifth of the people are against everything all the time.”
Luis Bunuel
“Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.”
J. D. Salinger
“I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make…
Clint Eastwood
“There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn…
Alfred Hitchcock
“A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the…
When Happy Hour Fights Back: Real Stories Behind the “Exploding Cocktail” Trend
There was a time when ordering a drink meant choosing between “with ice” or “without…
Wendy Liebman
“I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.”