Abraham Lincoln
“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”
Groucho Marx
“Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.”
Mary Pickford
“Adding sound to movies would be like putting lipstick on the Venus de Milo.”
William Butler Yeats
“Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods…
Thor Heyerdahl
“Progress is man’s ability to complicate simplicity.”
Mel Brooks
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open…
Katharine Hepburn
“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.”
Truman Capote
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
Charles V
“I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my…
Lost an Axe and a Wife
A lumberjack was chopping down a tree by a river when he dropped his axe…
Lenny Bruce
“Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.”
Samuel Pepys
“Strange to see how a good dinner and feasting reconciles everybody.”
John F. Kennedy
“The pay is good and I can walk to work.”
Kevin James
“There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.”
Harry S Truman
“You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.”
Everett Dirksen
“A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you’re talking about real money.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor
“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.”
Ellen DeGeneres
“Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.”
Frances Wright
“Pets, like their owners, tend to expand a little over the Christmas period.”
E. B. White
“Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.”
Princess Margaret
“I have as much privacy as a goldfish in a bowl.”
Warren Buffett
“I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.”
Erma Bombeck
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
Oscar Levant
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.”
Fred Allen
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Robert Anthony
“Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle.”
Clarence Darrow
“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning…
The Mystery Boom That Turned Out to Be a Space Rock
Residents across New England recently experienced a classic modern-day phenomenon: hearing a massive boom, checking…
Ernest Hemingway
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep…
Calvin Coolidge
“I have never been hurt by what I have not said.”