Mark Twain
“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
Milton Friedman
“Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.”
Sam Levenson
“Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it.”
H. L. Mencken
“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.”
Rita Rudner
“I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.”
Yogi Berra
“We have deep depth.”
Jean Cocteau
“I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike?”
George Burns
“Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”
P. J. O’Rourke
“If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.”
Brendan Behan
“If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.”
You Parked Like an Idiot: The Ultimate Passive-Aggressive Parking Card
Bad parking is one of those everyday annoyances that can instantly turn a good mood…
Spike Milligan
“I can speak Esperanto like a native.”
Dave Barry
“Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.”
Edgar Fiedler
“Ask five economists and you’ll get five different answers – six if one went to…
Charles de Gaulle
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is…
George Carlin
“There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.”
Henry Kissinger
“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.”
Robert Frost
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and…
Daniel J. Boorstin
“I write to discover what I think. After all, the bars aren’t open that early.”
Ray Bradbury
“I don’t try to describe the future. I try to prevent it.”
E. B. White
“Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one.”
Don Marquis
“The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.”
Viral Video: Horse Farts Every Time It Jumps, Leaves Millions Laughing
A horse with impeccable timing has left over 2.9 million TikTok users in stitches after…
Kin Hubbard
“The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put…
Steve Martin
“I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.”
Christopher Morley
“A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.”
Will Rogers
“Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.”
Dan Quayle
“It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system.”
Nuns visited the zoo
A group of nuns is visiting the zoo. They are outside the gorilla enclosure when…