Spike Milligan
“A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.”
Bob Hope
“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
Joe E. Lewis
“You only live once – but if you work it right, once is enough.”
Alexander Woollcott
“All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.”
Laurence J. Peter
“Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.”
Bertrand Russell
“The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it…
John Glenn
“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”
Jim Davis
“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin…
Using Humor In Poker: Measuring The Effectiveness
Among the psychological elements in the poker world, one of the most polarizing questions concerns…
Rodney Dangerfield
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
Mark Twain
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing.…
Vince Lombardi
“Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.”
Robert Frost
“I’m not confused. I’m just well mixed.”
Thomas Szasz
“If you talk to God, you are praying; If God talks to you, you have…
Bear Walks Into Shopping Mall, Eats a Peach and Leaves a Mess
Forget Black Friday sales. One Alaskan shopper decided to skip the queues, stroll straight through…
David Lee Roth
“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”
Carl Sagan
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the…
Earl Wilson
“Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.”
Woody Allen
“I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it…
Mitch Hedberg
“Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?”
Fran Lebowitz
“Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.”
Cary Grant
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”
Don Marquis
“Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get…
W. C. Fields
“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”
Arthur Schopenhauer
“The first forty years of life give us the text; the next thirty supply the…
Charles Kettering
“My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of…
H. L. Mencken
“Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.”
Will Rogers
“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
Abraham Lincoln
“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please…
Groucho Marx
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog…