Meet Rizzbot: NYC’s Sassy Robot Stealing Hearts (and Rolling Eyes)
Move over, TikTok stars—there’s a new celebrity on the streets of New York City, and…
Noel Coward
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Most Beautiful Boobs
A man is walking in the street and sees a women with the most beautiful…
Fred Allen
“Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.”
Gerald R. Ford
“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.”
Abraham Lincoln
“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please…
Doug Larson
“If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would…
Emma Goldman
“If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.”
Steven Wright
“I installed a skylight in my apartment… the people who live above me are furious!”
John Glenn
“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”
Emo Philips
“I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.”
Casey Stengel
“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”
Paula Poundstone
“I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name.”
Older man driving an old beat up truck
An older man driving an old beat up truck gets into a fender bender with…
Bernard Baruch
“Vote for the man who promises least; he’ll be the least disappointing.”
William Lyon Phelps
“I divide all readers into two classes: those who read to remember and those who…
Jane Wagner
“The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.”
2 Jewish women
Two Jewish women are walking down the street, and pass a Catholic church with a…
Flannery O’Connor
“I don’t deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always…
P. G. Wodehouse
“There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It…
Nora Ephron
“Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be.”
Father of the Bride Forgets the Bride: Wedding Mishap Goes Viral
Dad forgot to wait for the bride! Every wedding has its share of little hiccups.…
Joseph Brodsky
“Who included me among the ranks of the human race?”
George Carlin
“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
John Archibald Wheeler
“Time is nature’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.”
Joseph Conrad
“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with…
Tallulah Bankhead
“If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.”
Dave Barry
“It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take…
Jerry Seinfeld
“A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are…
Alfred Hitchcock
“Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.”