Stephen King
“French is the language that turns dirt into romance.”
David Lee Roth
“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”
Joan Rivers
“Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.”
Golfer Tapes His Mouth Shut to Stay Calm on the Course
Ryan McCormick might’ve gone a little overboard—but he had his reasons. The 33-year-old pro golfer…
Phyllis Diller
“Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?”
Hunter S. Thompson
“A word to the wise is infuriating.”
Girlfriend and Uncle Eddie
I called my girlfriend earlier today, but all my calls went straight to voicemail. So,…
McDonald’s “Glow-in-the-Dark” Burger
In 2019, McDonald’s India caught the attention of fast food lovers everywhere with an unexpected…
Rita Rudner
“I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.”
George Burns
“Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”
You Parked Like an Idiot: The Ultimate Passive-Aggressive Parking Card
Bad parking is one of those everyday annoyances that can instantly turn a good mood…
Dave Barry
“Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.”
Edgar Fiedler
“Ask five economists and you’ll get five different answers – six if one went to…
Charles de Gaulle
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
Henry Kissinger
“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.”
Viral Video: Horse Farts Every Time It Jumps, Leaves Millions Laughing
A horse with impeccable timing has left over 2.9 million TikTok users in stitches after…
Steve Martin
“I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.”
Nuns visited the zoo
A group of nuns is visiting the zoo. They are outside the gorilla enclosure when…
Marcel Marceau
“Never get a mime talking. He won’t stop.”
Ogden Nash
“Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.”
Robert Kennedy
“One-fifth of the people are against everything all the time.”
Odd Job? Man Earns £20,000 a Year Farting on Camera
Meet Nath Wyld, an Australian who swapped his carpentry tools for a career that’s as…
Luis Bunuel
“Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.”
J. D. Salinger
“I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make…
Clint Eastwood
“There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn…
Alfred Hitchcock
“A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the…
Camel Acts Like A Horse And Wins Everyone Over
When Josee first spotted a camel for sale, she was convinced it had to be…
Lily Tomlin
“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”
Wendy Liebman
“I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.”
Henny Youngman
“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep…