Bill Vaughan
“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age…
Charles M. Schulz
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in…
Samuel Pepys
“Strange to see how a good dinner and feasting reconciles everybody.”
Frances Wright
“Pets, like their owners, tend to expand a little over the Christmas period.”
Ellen DeGeneres
“Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.”
Erma Bombeck
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
Phyllis McGinley
“Please to put a nickel, please to put a dime. How petitions trickle in at…
Jerome K. Jerome
“What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise.”
Victor Borge
“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.”
Alfred Adler
“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”
Vince Lombardi
“We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.”
Johnny Carson
“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”
Bob Dole
“The internet is a great way to get on the net.”
Phil McGraw
“A year from now, you’re gonna weigh more or less than what you do right…
Ernest Hemingway
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep…
Drunk Raccoon Found Passed Out in Liquor Store Bathroom After Overnight Break-In
A raccoon in Virginia has become an unlikely internet celebrity after a bizarre overnight break-in…
Bored out of his mind
A psychiatrist is sitting in his office, bored out of his mind… Suddenly, the door…
Yogi Berra
“You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.”
Fran Lebowitz
“Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.”
Samuel Goldwyn
“Let’s have some new cliches.”
Charles Kettering
“Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.”
Calvin Trillin
“As far as I’m concerned, ‘whom’ is a word that was invented to make everyone…
Zsa Zsa Gabor
“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.”
Kevin James
“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.”
Irv Kupcinet
“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”
Joan Collins
“The problem with beauty is that it’s like being born rich and getting poorer.”
Thor Heyerdahl
“Progress is man’s ability to complicate simplicity.”
Jim Davis
“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin…
Earl Wilson
“Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.”
Road Rage Incident Ends With Rider Delivered Directly to Police
A 62 year old Victorian motorcyclist named John Turner took road rage to a level…