Emo Philips
“I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald
“Nothing is as obnoxious as other people’s luck.”
Sophia Loren
“Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.”
Jean-Luc Godard
“To be or not to be. That’s not really a question.”
Mark Twain
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of…
Benjamin Disraeli
“As for our majority… one is enough.”
Douglas Adams
“I don’t believe it. Prove it to me and I still won’t believe it.”
Samuel Beckett
“We are all born mad. Some remain so.”
Gilda Radner
“I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.”
Rita Rudner
“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was…
Niels Bohr
“Prediction is very difficult, especially if it’s about the future.”
Princess Margaret
“I have as much privacy as a goldfish in a bowl.”
Joan Crawford
“I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the dollar. Everything I earn, I spend.”
Elizabeth Taylor
“Big girls need big diamonds.”
Ted Turner
“Sports is like a war without the killing.”
Jazz Band Turns Flight Delay into an Impromptu Concert
When a long flight delay hits, most passengers brace for boredom, frustration, or scrolling endlessly…
Jimmy Buffett
“Indecision may or may not be my problem.”
Jay Leno
“The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be…
Groucho Marx
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
Mort Sahl
“My life needs editing.”
W. C. Fields
“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank…
Top Ten Trump Trophy Memes
The meme trail really picked up around Trump’s repeated references to the Nobel Peace Prize…
H. L. Mencken
“The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”
John F. Kennedy
“The pay is good and I can walk to work.”
Truman Capote
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
Mary Pickford
“Adding sound to movies would be like putting lipstick on the Venus de Milo.”
Clarence Darrow
“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning…
The Cat Came Back… With a Plot Twist
Losing a pet is awful. Your house feels quieter, the food bowl stays full, and…
Mae West
“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”
Warren Buffett
“I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.”