E. M. Forster
“How can I know what I think till I see what I say?”
In China, You Might Have to Watch an Ad Just to Get Toilet Paper
Imagine walking into a public restroom and realizing you can’t grab toilet paper… until you…
Dan Quayle
“The future will be better tomorrow.”
Arthur Godfrey
“I’m proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could…
Bill Vaughan
“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.”
Beautiful Giant Bubble Ass
A young woman named Kelly buys a mirror at an antique shop from a gypsy,…
An atheist is hiking
An atheist is hiking in the woods when suddenly a huge bear pops out from…
Norman Douglas
“Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it.”
Natalie Wood
“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is…
W. Somerset Maugham
“Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.”
Grace Hopper
“I handed my passport to the immigration officer, and he looked at it and looked…
John Kenneth Galbraith
“Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.”
Jean Kerr
“The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all…
Andre Maurois
“We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity – romantic love…
Billy Wilder
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
Clare Boothe Luce
“The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face.”
Who Needs Fiction When Everyday Life Starts Reading Like a Novel Plot?
These days, scrolling through the news makes one wonder if reality has been possessed by…
Erma Bombeck
“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
Helen Rowland
“Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.”
Meet Rizzbot: NYC’s Sassy Robot Stealing Hearts (and Rolling Eyes)
Move over, TikTok stars—there’s a new celebrity on the streets of New York City, and…
Noel Coward
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Most Beautiful Boobs
A man is walking in the street and sees a women with the most beautiful…
Fred Allen
“Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.”
Gerald R. Ford
“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.”
Abraham Lincoln
“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please…
Calvin Trillin
“I never eat in a restaurant that’s over a hundred feet off the ground and…
Doug Larson
“If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would…
Emma Goldman
“If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.”
Steven Wright
“I installed a skylight in my apartment… the people who live above me are furious!”
John Glenn
“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”