When actor Andrew Garfield recently revealed on Marc Maron’s “WTF” podcast that he abstained from sex for six months in order to prepare for a role, actress/talk show host Drew Barrymore took notice. And she didn’t seem to think that six month was a big deal. What about you? Does it seem like it’s too long, or do you view it as an easy sacrifice for an important yet time-limited cause?
When it comes to sex, we humans love numbers. How many orgasms can someone have in a row? Should I buy the jumbo pack of condoms, or just what I need for tonight? How many times a day/week/month should I be having sex? How many times day/week/month do I feel like having sex? See what I mean? We can get very quantitative about it all.
While that’s all well and good, we believe that there are benefits to spending more time focusing on quality: of sex, of our relationships with others, and of course, the ones we have with ourselves.
“What’s the point of all that” you might ask? Well, if sexual conquest is your only objective, then by all means, go set that record! If you’re having safe and consensual sex and don’t care much about who it’s with, then you can bypass the relationship stuff, sure. But you might want to consider that actually engaging with your partners could be a pathway to even hotter sex. If you are your sexual partner, why not take some time to get better acquainted with your preferences and red flags in order to improve the quality of sex on the solo?
Whether you prioritize quantity or quality (or value both), you get to decide what’s most important. There is no one road map for everyone; no “shoulds” in terms of sexual frequency nor type of partner. It doesn’t matter what your friends say, or what social media says. Determine what’s right for you, and don’t compromise your values when it comes to sex just because someone else says you should. When you’re true to your sexual self, the results can be so much more satisfying!
For more information or guidance on your sexual health, contact us for a free phone consult.
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